Your Female Characters Suck. Let's Fix Them.

Ever notice that it's expected for a work of fiction to have strong, believable male characters, but it's so rare for there to be strong female characters that it's actually celebrated when they do exist? Writers get away with creating awful female characters that reside on a plane of existence reserved for the likes of Nickelback and that crusty peanut butter you can never get out of the bottom of the jar. So in an effort to combat this pandemic, I'm going to give you folks a special vaccine I like to call Alex's Primer on Writing Non-Crappy Female Characters.

What's so Bad About My Female Character?

She's a Mary Sue

• See: Bella Swan in Twilight

"Now wait just a tick, my character's name isn't Mary Sue! It's AnnaMarie Violet Ravensmith! And she's a serious character!"

That's right, she's a serious character, because Mary Sue is YOU. Albeit an idealized, magical form of you, but let's face it: she's you in fiction character form. A Mary Sue character (with Gary Stu as her male counterpart) is flawless. She is plain but strangely attractive. She is aloof, but she excels in all her endeavors as if she had practiced for years. She is awkward and anti-social, yet she is adored by all those with whom she comes into contact. Best of all about Mary Sue, she has a very unique power of some sort. A power that no one else has.

Why is Mary Sue a bad character? Her only purpose in life is wish-fulfillment for the author in question. She doesn't have to EARN anything; just by existing, she finds her ideal romantic partner and conquers all obstacles before her.

She's a Manic Pixie Dream Girl

• See: Sam in Garden State

"She's not manic! She's eclectic!"

Take a seat, child, and let me tell you a story. The Manic Pixie Dream Girl is the foil to your dull, stoic male protagonist. He drudges about his bland existence until her special brand of philosophy changes everything. She's beautiful. She's quirky. Her idiosyncrasies challenge the male protagonist and force him to broaden his horizons. In the end, she learns to be a little more serious, and he learns to be a little more open-minded. Everything's just a big bucket of kittens and sparkles!

Why is the Manic Pixie Dream Girl a bad character? Character quirks aren't inherently negative; in fact, used properly, they are part of what makes characters relatable. But the entirety of MPDG's character IS her quirks. She is weird for the sake of being weird. She's a plot device to force the protagonist to evolve as a character, but she herself could not stand alone as a living, breathing character.

She Serves as No More Than a Love Interest

"Oh, come on. The protagonist HAS to have a love interest!"

A well-developed romantic plot or sub-plot is not a bad thing. A character created with the singular purpose of making that plotline happen is inexcusable. Ask yourself: without the protagonist's existence, could she still be a viable character, or is her personality reliant on the protagonist being around?

She Doesn't Pass the Bechdel Test

"The WHAT test? Don't you think that's a little personal? We've only just met!"

Conceived by artist Alison Bechdel in one of her comic strips, the Bechdel Test is not a hard-and-fast rule but rather a good guideline to keep in mind when writing female characters. To pass the test, a work must have at least two women, they must at some point converse with each other, and that conversation must be about something other than the men of the story. Sounds simple, but if you apply this rule to your favorite works of fiction, you may be surprised by how many fail the test.

This is not to say that because your work passes this test, it's automatically a piece of feminist literature, but chances are if it doesn't pass, there may be some larger problems with your female characters.

Okay. My Female Character Sucks. How Do I Fix Her?

Make Her a Character Before a Female This should be the basis of any character you create, female or otherwise. Outline her as a real person! Give her depth. She needs a backstory, motivations, and flaws, the same as any other character. Her sex is only a PART of her identity, not the whole of her identity.

Consider Modeling Her After a Real Woman I'm willing to bet that at some point in your life, you've met a woman. I know that's a controversial statement, but I said it. I mean, it's not like everyone is BORN from a woman or anything, right? The women in your life have personalities just as broad and diverse as men.

You might think to yourself, "I want to write a character that's half Indiana Jones, half homeless guy that ate that dude's face off," or "I want to write a character that's like my dad, but that doesn't emotionally disconnect from his children!" Do the same for your female characters. Revel in the results.

Don't Make Her a Beacon of Feminism It's very possible to over-design a female character to the point of absurdity. Don't make her the anti-Mary Sue who wears the Venus symbol on her shirt and touts how great her achievements are because of her femininity. This is equally as flat and obnoxious as the other end of the spectrum.

Don't Make Her a "Man With Boobs" "But Alex," you say, "you told me to make her a character before a female!" Right you are, dear reader, however I didn't tell you to make her a character INSTEAD of a female. If you design a Man With Boobs, whose sole outlets are physical prowess, killing shit, and rough-housing with the guys, there better be a good rationale for doing so. Even if a female character is not personally in touch with her femininity, you can bet your ass that the other characters are well aware of it and will act accordingly. A female character CAN be physically strong, but she does not have to be in order to prove herself as strong character.

Whatcha Sayin' Here?

It's a lot to soak in. I know. This is by no means an all-encompassing list of ALL the bad and good things to do when creating female characters, but at the very least it's a good starting point. What techniques do you utilize when designing characters? What cliché pitfalls do you find yourself falling into that you have to consciously avoid?